I got chris browned last night
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
