Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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