I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
