Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
