Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
