First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
