I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
