dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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