I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
