Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
