East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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