Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
everyone is single if you try hard enough
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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