had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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