Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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