I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
