I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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