So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
