I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
