if i died would you start the facebook group?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
