glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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