she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
