I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
