were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
