Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
