ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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