he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
