I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
