if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize