You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
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