there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
