it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
