He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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