dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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