so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I'm passing your future prison.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
