She announced her abortion via fbk
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
