Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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