matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
