He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
