I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
