I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
