My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
