Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Randomize
