I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
