He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
