Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
