Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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