I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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