You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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