I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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