the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
it's like iHOP with fire
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
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