9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
