I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
