A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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