windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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