Where is the hickey?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
