I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
