I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
