the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
