that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
