They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i don't like sucking hair
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
