Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
