she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
