Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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