Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
